There's a big difference between living with friends and living with a stranger.

When I worked in Manila, I shared a two-bedroom condo with 5 friends. I know, that seems quite a lot of people for one small condo, but we had no choice because we couldn't afford better.

And yet, the place wasn't crowded, because everyone was a friend. When someone was in the living room watching TV or cooking something in the kitchen, you would join them or talk to them and would not feel like they were invading our space.

That isn't the case when you're living with a stranger.

Michelle isn't too bad. She's okay, really, but we just don't jive like Patricia and her friends, you know? So I always feel awkward around her. We make small talk whenever we encounter each other in the common areas, and it always feel just that - small talk, and never transcends into... big talk? (Huh. What is the opposite of small talk anyway? And why do they call it that?)

For me, anyway. Maybe not for her. 

I don't want to make it seem like I'm full of myself or anything, but she seems a bit too overeager, even stalkerish, in the way she keeps asking me eleventeen billion questions about everything. 

What did you do today? What are you doing tomorrow? What are you buying? What are you watching? How much do you earn? When is Jason coming back here? 

It can't be a coincidence, but she seems to copy everything I do. When I mentioned that I liked watching a TV show, she suddenly started watching it, too. After I bought an iphone, she bought one too, and the same thing happened with the macbook. 

I know they say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but there's just something about her that makes it not flattering, but creepy. 

Like at any moment she would kill me to take over my life, which sounds like a plot from a book that my cousin once told me about. 

So I find myself avoiding her and just staying in my bedroom whenever I can.

It's not so bad, coz I have my macbook to keep me company. One of my fave apps is Skype, which I use to talk to Sam.

Sometimes we watch movies together, play them at the same time and comment on what is happening on our screens. 

Sometimes I watch him sleep. (Now look who's the stalker.)

I miss my boyfriend so badly, I sleep in his jersey while cuddling the teddy bear he gave me.

I miss my boyfriend so badly, that was almost the title of this post. 

Skype helps, but it's not the same. They should create the ability to hold hands through Skype. Oh wait, this suddenly reminds me of that Big Bang Theory episode when Rajesh and Howard tested a gadget that allowed them to "kiss" virtually. Eww. Erase erase. 

But Skype helps, and I am grateful. I can't imagine going through LDR during le olden days when your only form of communication was by post. 

My dearest Samuel,

Today I rode to work in a carriage. After I computed the figures using my trusty abacus, I got on a horse and galloped to the nearest fishing village to sup on dried fish. 

I shall continue this on the morrow as darkness is falling and I have ran out of candles. 

Much love,

Maria Bianca

Thank goodness for technology. 

Thank goodness for Jetstar, too. They had a fare sale last week where you get your return flight for free. So Sam booked his ticket to come see me here in November! I know, it's so far away, but it was the earliest leaves he could get coz he has a new job and can't get leaves while he's still a probe. 

It's so far that I decided to book a weekend trip to see him in August, during the long weekend here! 

But he doesn't know. I want it to be a surprise. So shhh. 

Theme song of this episode: 

Nothing feels right when I'm not with you

Sick of this dress and these Charles & Keith

Taking them off coz I feel a fool

Trying to dress up when I'm missing you

Imma step out of this lingerie

Curl up in a ball in something blue

In bed I lay with nothing but your jersey on

With nothing but your jersey on

Noted with longing,

The Great Singapore Sale (GSS) is an annual sale that runs from end of May until end of July, and almost all the stores in the entire country has sales during that time.

It's ending this week, so of course I had to go shopping before it did.

I found myself walking all over the malls with Patricia, her sister Andrea, and their friend Tere.

"It's more fun to shop in Singapore than in the Philippines," Patricia had told me that first time we had met up for dinner. "It's because the prices are in single or double digits here, so your brain is fooled into thinking that they're cheap, unlike in the Philippines where they're in the thousands."

"Umm.. that doesn't seem to make sense," I had replied. "I mean, if I convert it, it's the same."

"That's because you're still converting to pesos whenever you buy something, aren't you?" she commented. "When you start earning in Singapore dollars, you'll see what I mean."

Now I'm beginning to see what she meant. She was right. As usual.

But does this mean she's right about what she was suggesting now, too?

"The first thing you should buy is a branded bag," she tells me, as we stroll through the mall. "Have you noticed that Singaporeans are into branded bags? It's like they use LVs to go to the market."

I hadn't actually noticed it because I don't really care about brands.

She started pointing out the bags of the women around us. "Balenciaga. Prada. Miu Miu. Chloe."

From then on, I could not help but notice all the brands. They were everywhere indeed, even in buses and MRTs!

And that was how we ended up in the Louis Vuitton store on Marina Bay Sands. The store was like a prism jutting out of the ocean. So pretty!


But I nearly fainted when I saw how much the bags were. Over 1,000 dollars for a bayong bag? OMG my mom would have a heart attack if she found out I spent that much money on something that could have bought me 30 Secosanas.

"Umm... I don't think I'm ready to spend this much on a bag," I protested. Luckily, they understood.

"It's fine, don't listen to Patricia," said Andrea. "She's a bag addict, and not everyone has to be like her." This coming from someone who had 30 Secosanas worth of bags hanging on her shoulder right now. I was afraid to learn how much Patricia's Prada had cost her. Probably 60 Secosanas.

"Okay, if you don't want to buy an LV, you could probably at least get started on a Longchamp," Patricia relented.

"Longchamp?"

"Yes, like Tere's bag," she explained. "Those are only around 200 dollars."

That chaka (ugly) bag? No way.




Turns out they weren't kidding.

Why would a very simple looking bag which looks like it could have been bought from Avon for 200 pesos and not 200 dollars be that expensive?

But I noticed that they were everywhere. And in the end, I succumbed. But only because I found out it's a French brand and apparently waterproof and all. After I tried using it, I fell in love with how light it is! Maybe I can justify spending this much on this bag to my mom. It's just 6 Secosanas, Mama. You should have seen these other bags!

We bought a bunch of other stuff too. Clothes and shoes and trinkets and makeup and pasalubong for our family and loved ones back home. We don't do balikbayan boxes here but we stock up so that we're prepared when we're going home.

The GSS is so addicting because the sales are so huge! You get up to 70% discount off branded items, on good stock!

I can't believe how cheap Cotton On is here! You can get clothes for 5-10 dollars!

And Charles and Keith! My friends said Charles and Keith is a local brand, so the shoes are insanely cheap, I got a lot of 20-dollar shoes and I think I need to buy that shoe rack I found in Ikea the other day because I have so many shoes all of a sudden.

But my most expensive buy is, you know what? One I'm using right now to type out this blog post.

Say hello to my new macbook.


My friends all have MacBooks, too, and they convinced me that it's the best laptop ever. I could get it on a 12-month zero percent instalment on my credit card, so why the hell not?

I would never have bought one in the Philippines because it's so expensive, but it just makes sense to do that here. I don't know if it's just peer pressure, or what.

And besides, it goes so well with my iPhone.


I have never ever owned my own laptop ever. This is a dream come true.

Is this what it feels like to be rich? Just a teeny tiny bit? If so, then I want this feeling. Forever.

Theme song of the episode:

I wanna be a billionaire so freakin' bad
Buy all of the things I never had
I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
Smiling next to Oprah and the queen

Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
Yeah, a different city every night oh right
I swear, the world better prepare
For when I'm a billionaire

Noted with wishful thinking,

Hi all! So sorry this is late. I was so exhausted the entire weekend that I was not able to carve out time to blog. :-/

The reason I was so tired was because we moved. Patricia's friend Michelle and I finally found a furnished condo we both loved after about the fourth viewing.

I am so in love with the place! Can you believe how pretty it is? Who would have thought this sawali house country mouse would ever get a chance to live in a swanky place like this? If I had the means to go back in time and tell my 16 year old self about it, she probably wouldn't believe me.


Patricia was right about how expensive it is to rent here, which I think is the main reason why Singapore has been named the most expensive city in the world for two years running.

But even if it is expensive by Philippine standards, the rent I'll pay is not even half of what I earn, so it's okay! I got the master's bedroom, by the way, so I have to pay 60%. Apparently that's the standard  division here.

I hired a mover recommended by Jason. Since I have few stuff, I took the small option, so there was just a van type of car instead of a truck. There was an option to have a guy carry your things for you as well, but Jason said since I didn't have much stuff, he'll just help me instead. I protested, but he insisted, and in the end, he won.

After we brought my stuff in on Saturday, we realised that I needed a few things, like bedsheets, for example. So we went to Ikea. I pronounced it like "idea" but Jason laughed and said that they pronounced it was "eek-ya" here, and that he had been scolded by a cab driver for pronouncing it the wrong way.

When we got to Ikea, my jaw dropped in amazement. I love the place so much!

"They have such beautiful stuff for sale that it makes me want to settle down and have my own home so I can buy everything here and put them in there!" I cried.

"Let's do it!" Jason replied, his eyes twinkling in merriment.

Oh don't you dare joke about things like this! We're just friends! Don't cross any lines!

I mean, how pretty is this?


Jason managed to convince me not to buy the ceiling thing.

I bought other stuff, though, like bedsheets and curtains and other odds and ends.

On our way back to my condo (my condo! OMG! The phrase makes me feel kilig), Jason told the story of how a friend of his had bought a fully formed side table from Ikea and brought it home via bus and MRT.

"Luckily, the mini table had wheels, but it was a stressful experience for her to have to roll it through the MRT turnstiles. At one point, she realised it was faster if she threw the table forward and run to catch up with it."

We both laughed at the image.

"What was she thinking?" I gasped.

"She said she was new in Singapore at the time and her friend thought cabs were too expensive."

I guess I understand what her friend was thinking, as someone who is relatively new here and still in culture shock about some of the prices here. But still!

I told Jason I can arrange my stuff on my own and he didn't need to stick around, but again, he insisted.

After we put on my brand new bed sheets, I jumped on my bed in glee. Jason joined me. As we lay there, laughing, he turned his face toward mine, turned serious, and said, "Why did I ever let you go?" He brushed my hair away from my face, and let his fingers graze my cheek.

I knew that look.

"We should probably help Michelle," I said, breaking the spell.

I will not cross the line.

Michelle has been in Singapore for a year, so she has more stuff, which she had placed in huge boxes which she said she had asked from Fairprice, a popular grocery chain here.

She seems kind of nice, by the way, though slightly overenthusiastic and overly friendly, especially to Jason. Or maybe "friendly" is not the word. "Flirty" probably fits the bill a bit more.

But as I watched how she acted around Jason, I realised that he was the same!

No hint of jealousy here, just a dose of reality which sent me hurtling back to seventeen again.

I suddenly remembered why we broke up.

He had always been a ladies' man, but I ignored that because you know, love is blind and all that. But one day he broke up with me, saying, "I'm not yet ready for a relationship." (Yet two weeks later, he had a new girlfriend.)

I begged him not to leave me, but he wouldn't budge.

I cried so hard and couldn't eat anything for days. Sam took care of me. He showed up at my dorm room and forced me to eat. And since I couldn't concentrate on school, he took down my notes and did my homework.

A few months later, he would admit that he did it because he had been in love with me, almost from the first day that we met. It had killed him to see me with Jason, and to see how Jason had treated me.

I can't believe I almost did the same thing to him again, for a guy who didn't deserve me.

Thank goodness I woke up and smelled the coffee. I will never make the same mistake again. Jason is not the kind of guy I want to be with, even if it's so tempting because he's closer to me in proximity. He will probably leave me again the first chance he gets, with someone like Michelle, for example.

But Sam would never do something like that.

I shouldn't, too.

I'm sorry, Sam, I'll be a better girlfriend, promise.


Theme song of this episode:

We are never ever ever getting back together,
We are never ever ever getting back together,
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

Like, ever...

Noted with exhaustion,

When I was seventeen, my life changed forever.

That’s a line from one of my favorite books, but it doesn’t mean I can’t use it, right? Coz it’s true in my case. A lot of important things happened when I was seventeen.

I entered college and met Sam, Angelo, and Yvette in class, and we became best friends.

Remember when I said in my first entry that Sam and I had been together 8 years? I meant we’ve known each other for 8 years, but we weren’t really a couple for 8 years. I insist on celebrating our friendship anniversary instead of our couple anniversary, because I argue that our relationship really started when we became friends. Friendship is a relationship, is it not?

I know. I am a weirdo.

But if I think about it, I realize that maybe the reason why I like telling people that we’ve been together for 8 years is so that I can pretend that he’s the only boyfriend I have ever had, so I can erase what else happened when I was seventeen.

But we’ll get to that later on. If you read last week’s post, though, you already have an idea that it involved a certain someone named Jason who, by some quirk of fate, also happens to be in Singapore.

Of all the cities in all the countries in all the world, he walks into mine!

“Enjoy the party later tonight, hon,” my boyfriend Sam told me on viber, just as I was on my way to the party after work on a week night. “I’m sure they’ll love the Bonchon chicken you bought. Tell me about new friends you meet!”

“Of course!” I replied. You never said anything about old boyfriends, though.

I managed to find the right block for the HDB flat where the gathering was. I pressed the doorbell, the door swung open, and I found myself face to face with a smiling stranger.

“Hi, I’m Bianca, Patricia’s friend,” I stammered.

“Oh hello! Come in!” she said, unlocking the metal grille door which protected the wooden door. That’s the thing about Singapore apartments – they always have these metal grille doors, which kind of serve as a gate before you can get in. “I’m Sylvia, by the way. Patricia is inside.”

I made my way in and found a group of people gathered around the TV, plugging in the Magic Sing. Patricia greeted me with a kiss, then introduced me to everyone. Of course I didn't remember any of their names, except that of the birthday girl, who was... OMG. What was her name? Dammit. I am so bad with names!

The room slowly filled up with people, and the table soon filled up with all sorts of Filipino food - sweet style spaghetti, adobo, Jollibee chicken joy, and someone even brought lechon (roast pig).


It was a small one, but still. I didn't even know they had lechon here! Whoever brought it said she bought it from a store in Lucky Plaza.


Lucky Plaza (LP), by the way, is a mall in Orchard Road, the most popular shopping street in Singapore. It's filled mostly with Philippine remittance centres (where Filipinos go to remit money to their loved ones in the Philippines), stores that sell Filipino groceries, and restaurants that serve Filipino food, like Jollibee.

L.P. could just as well stand for Little Philippines.

I went there on Saturday to remit money and buy Filipino goodies. Patricia said I should never go there on Sundays because that's the day most OFWs have their day off and it gets super crowded, it's like Divisoria right before Christmas week. I'll take her word for it.

But anyway, back to the party.

Someone coerced me into singing a song on the magic sing. I don't have the best singing voice and normally wouldn't sing in a room full of strangers, but everyone was egging me on, so I finally succumbed to the peer pressure and also because there were a lot of people who were more terrible than me.

Then, while I was singing, "But baby before I let you go, I want to say I love you..." a new guest arrived and wandered into the living room.

I nearly dropped the microphone.

He had bulked up and his hair was now slicked up to a point on his head. He was older but he looked better than when I last saw him.

His eyes met mine across the crowded room, and they widened in surprise. He broke into a smile... that familiar, signature smile that once made butterflies not just flutter, but do cartwheels in my stomach.

He walked towards me and kissed me on the cheek.

"Bianca," he said.

And suddenly, I was back to seventeen again.

We talked the whole night. Then we swapped numbers and continued our conversations on whatsapp.

It's just friendly conversation, nothing to be guilty about.

Nothing that I need to tell Sam about. Right?



Theme song of this episode:

Two old friends meet again
Wearing older faces
And talk about the places they've been

Two old sweethearts who fell apart
Somewhere long ago
How are they to know
Someday they'd meet again 
And have a need for more than just reminiscing

Noted with flashbacks,